Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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