Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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