I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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