Can i not drive my cunt home
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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