last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
