Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
