Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
