you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
