so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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