normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
