stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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