its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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