Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
