these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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