I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
