I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
