I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
