Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
