i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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