Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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