i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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