Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
