pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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