my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the day after is always just damage control
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
