I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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