Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
