I feel like abortions should bother me more
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
