U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
