Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
