it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
