So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
