Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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