is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
50% drunk capacity currently
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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