I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
