it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
