Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
