fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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