tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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