i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
