it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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