Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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