I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
