then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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