Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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