On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
How naked do you want me to be?
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