You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
