actually, I'm a sock model
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just sucked dick on a ferry
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
