first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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