do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
