I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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