Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
