pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
